vicious_twilighter: (sydneyrawrr)
[personal profile] vicious_twilighter posting in [community profile] glittering_stars
Fic Title: Things I'll Never Say
Chapter Title: Weightless
Rating: T
Fandom: Degrassi
Summary: "I guess I'm wishing my life away. With these things I'll never say" AlliXJohnny Post - Heart of Glass
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, the name of this chappie is named after a song by All Time Low, and this fic is named after a song by Avril Lavigne.
A/N: Edited just a bit to suck less.

Dinner at the Bhandari household was quiet and uncomfortable. Alli was picking at her food, Sav was eating quietly, Mr. Bhandari kept looking up from his plate so he could glance at either Anya or Sav, and Mrs. Bhandari looked like she was about to start up a conversation, but decided against it.

After a few more minutes of silent awkwardness, Sav and Anya came to an unspoken agreement that it was time to go.

“Hey, Anya, don’t you think we should go and study for the test on Monday?” Sav asked.

“Umm, yeah, we should.” Anya and Sav stood up from the table. “Thanks for having me over, Mr. and Mrs. Bhandari.” Anya said.

“It was no trouble, you are always welcome here.” Mrs. Bhandari replied, smiling slightly, Mr. Bhandari managed a grunt and a nod in Anya’s direction. Alli stood up from her seat.

“I’ve got a ton of homework, so I need to get started on that.” The three of them made their way up the stairs.

Alli was about to go to her bedroom, give her brother and Anya some time alone before she freaked him out. She reached for the door handle, but stopped when she heard Sav say, “Alli, we need to talk.”

Alli turned towards her brother, “About what?” ‘He doesn’t know, does he?’ She asked herself, feeling a bit nervous.

Sav didn’t answer, but he motioned for her to follow him and Anya into his room. Alli walked into his room. Anya sat down on Sav’s bed, while her brother remained standing. Alli sent a questioning look towards Anya, who merely shrugged in return.

“So, earlier today” Sav began “I was reading the Anti-Grapevine and I saw something about you on there.”

‘He knows’, Alli thought.

Sav continued, “It was about you and Johnny. It said something about the two of you at the ravine.” Alli’s darted from her shoes, to one of the many posters on her brother’s wall, to Anya, sitting cross-legged on the bed, inspecting her nails, to practically anywhere, except Sav.

“I was going to talk to you about that.” She told him, finally meeting his gaze. “But, before I do, what exactly did it say?” Alli knew that he needed to know the full story, but she still needed to know how much everyone else knew.

“It didn’t say much, just that you two were there and someone saw you head off together. I’m pretty sure that it was a rumor, anyways. You were at Clare’s that night and there is no way you would be hanging out with DiMarco at ‘hook-up central’.” He told her.

Alli suddenly found her feet to be very interesting. Sav looked at her, expectantly.

“It’s not true. Is it?” He asked. Still no response. “Alli!” She looked at him, guilt evident on her face.

“Oh my God! What the heck were you thinking? I told you to stay away from him!” He was almost yelling now.

“He’s not that bad, you know. There are times where I could actually describe him as sweet.” She told him.

“‘Sweet’?” Sav asked, incredulously. “Are we talking about the same guy here? The Johnny I know is definitely not ‘sweet’!”

“Shhh...Do you want Mom and Dad to hear you?” Alli attempted to calm her brother down. It did no good. Sav carried on as if she hadn’t said anything.

“You didn’t , like…” He trailed off.

Alli looked away from him and said nothing.

“You did, didn’t you?”

Alli just nodded silently.

“I am going to kill him.” Sav told her. “He, like, forced you into it, right? Because it would actually make me feel so much better if he did.” Alli shook her head.

“So, you actually…” He started.

“I kind of…” She took a deep breath. “pressured him. He was willing to wait, but I thought he was going to leave me for someone more…experienced so, I went for it. If it makes you feel any better, I felt really bad about it, afterwards.” She told him.

Anya, who had been silently observing this whole conversation, wanting to give the siblings some time to talk things out, chose that moment to speak. “It was partially my fault.” She confessed. “Mia and I told her the rumors about Johnny, back at Lakehurst, and that may have had something to do with it.”

“That just reminded me! If you knew that he slept a lot of girls, why would you sti-”

Alli cut him off. “Those rumors, were just rumors. He didn’t sleep with any of those girls, he said that he hadn’t stuck around long enough.”

“And what if he was lying?” Sav asked.

“He wasn’t.” Alli stated, firmly.

“How do you know, though?”, He pressed. “Because he wasn’t lying!” She exclaimed.

“Are you sure he wasn’t lying?! Or are you sure you don’t want him to be?!” Their voices were getting louder.

Anya decided that she needed to step in, before their parents came to see what they were yelling about.

“Both of you, calm down. Alli there is a possibility that Johnny isn’t being completely truthful.” Alli started to say something, but Anya cut her off. “But, I don’t think he’s lying. And Sav, maybe, Johnny isn’t really as bad as you think he is.”

“But, what if he is?” Sav asked.

“Then, Alli will probably have enough common sense to dump him.” Anya assured him.

“I still don’t like this.” Sav stated. “DiMarco is an asshole and I don’t want him anywhere near you.” Sav told Alli.

“He is not an asshole!” Alli told her brother. “Why does everyone always say he is?!”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because he actually is.” Alli inhaled deeply, trying to keep from screaming at her brother.

“But, he isn’t and that’s that.” She told him. Sav rolled his eyes. “And I don’t care if you don’t like him. I like him and I don’t need you to tell me who I can and can’t date.” Alli stated.

“Apparently, you do.” Sav proclaimed.

“Listen, we all know how this is gonna end.” He told her.

“Please, enlighten me.” Alli placed her hands on her hips.

“He’s going to end up hurting you, Alli! You know it and I know it! I don’t see why you have to be so stubborn!”

“I’m being stubborn?! If either of us is being stubborn, it’s you! You just won’t except the fact that I’m not a little girl anymore! I am old enough to make my own decisions, no matter what you say!” Alli huffed.

Sav sighed, “You want to date him? Fine, but don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart.”

Alli looked him straight in the eye and said, “I won’t be cause he’s not going to break my heart.”

Alli turned around and walked out of Sav’s room. She went into her bedroom, closed her door, and flopped down on her bed.

“That went better than expected.” She said, to herself.


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Glittering Stars

February 2010

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